If you have any experience with breakup texts, then you already know how awkward these exchanges can be. While some may argue against doing things over the phone, there are times when you really don't have another option. A long-distance relationship gone wrong might require a text breakup, for instance. Casual flings don't really call for in-person get-togethers, either. And sometimes, it's best to put even serious relationships to bed through text. It all depends on your circumstances. Of course, it's not always easy to find the right words, which is why we put together a few ideas below. Keep reading for more information on how to break up with someone over text, and what to say.
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How to Break Up With Someone Over Text
Is breaking up with someone via text always the way to go? Not necessarily, but it's better than ghosting someone altogether (for those of you who have been living under a rock, we can define "ghosting" as cutting off communication without any forewarning or explanation). It's also a reasonable alternative to breaking things off in person, which we've all seen go south. So, if you decide a breakup text is how you want to proceed, then keep reading. We've outlined a few tips to make things just a little less awkward.
Be succinct
A lot of people choose to break up via text because they don't want things to drag things out in person. If you fall into that category, then lean into the choice and remember, the best breakup text messages are those that do not invite a whole lot of back and forth.
Be as polite as possible
Sure, sometimes people behave in ways that get under our skin and make us want to be a little mean. But—so long as this person hasn't wronged you in any fundamental way—it's better to be polite. Going into things too aggressively will probably invite some sort of retaliation, and that kind of defeats the whole purpose of keeping things short, sweet, and totally online.
Take a minute before pressing send.
In the wise words of one Dorinda Medley, "Say it, forget it. Write it, regret it." If you're gearing up to dump someone, then it's pretty clear they're not your favorite person. And if they've done something to really tick you off, then you might have an overwhelming urge to say something, well, hurtful. But things said in this state often seem unclear or illogical. In short, you don't want to diminish your own argument by getting petty, no matter how good it may feel.
Is It Ever OK to Ghost Someone?
In general, it's better to avoid ghosting someone—if possible. Even if you've only been on a few dates, it's polite to let someone know what happened and why you're bowing out. Now, there are a few exceptions to keep in mind. You don't necessarily owe anyone your time, especially if they've been rude or inappropriate. And if you see any signs of potentially abusive behavior, do what you need to protect your peace.
"You don't owe them a reason, closure, nada," Rachel Wright, relationship therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist, recently shared with Shape magazine. "Your boundaries are important, and if someone isn't respecting your boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, that's a significant red flag to notice."
Polite Breakup Texts
Text for Ending a Casual Relationship
Breakup Text If They Were Rude or Inappropriate
Sad Breakup Texts That Will Make Him Cry
Breakup Text When It Feels More Like a Friendship
When Should I Break Up With Someone Over Text?
There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to calling it quits. Listed below are just a few scenarios you might want to back out of.
1. When IRL attempts aren't working
It's hard to keep things short and sweet when it comes to ending a long-term relationship. But at some point, you've got to pull the plug.
2. When you've been texting nonstop for a few days
There may be a lot to say about a breakup, but the act itself doesn't need to take too long. Sometimes, it takes stepping away from them in person to really call things off.
3. When you weren't feeling it on the first date, but they keep asking to hang out
There's no point in stringing someone along, especially if it's still early on. Keep the breakup as casual as the relationship itself, and send them off with a simple text message.
4. When it's clear that they're just looking for something casual
If you two aren't aligned on where you see things going, then it's best to break things off early. If they want to keep things casual, then why not humor them with some of the same—even when it comes to breaking things off.
5. When you cringe every time they open their mouth
You don't like what they have to say? Well, you might not like them at all. And if that's the case, it's probably early enough to end things informally.
6. When there's already been a lot of fighting
Warning: you might be in a toxic relationship. If you want, break things off now and avoid bringing that kind of energy into your personal space.
Wrapping Up
That's it for now, but be sure to check back in with us soon for even more ways to navigate your way around love—and loss. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next.
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